1. "I'm gonna put you on hold." Natasha, The Black Widow. She then goes on to beat the crud out of four guys.
2. Natasha Romanoff: [discussing attacking Loki] They're basically gods.
Steve Rogers: Ma'am, there's only one God, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that.
3. Nick Fury: We have no quarrel with your people.Loki: An ant has no quarrel with a boot.
4. Tony Stark: Phil? Uh, his first name is Agent.5. Tony Stark: [to Captain America] You might have missed a couple things, y'know, doing time as a Capsicle.
6. Tony Stark: [to Bruce Banner] You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?
7. Steve Rogers: Are you nuts?Tony Stark: Jury's out.
8. Bruce Banner: I got low! I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth... and the other guy spit it out!
9. Tony Stark: [regaining consciousness] What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.Steve Rogers: We won.
Tony Stark: All right, hey! All right good job guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow; let's just take a day.
10. Natasha Romanoff: [tied up in a chair being interrogated by Russians, getting a call] I'm working.
11. Jarvis: [Thor has just thrown a thunderbolt on Iron Man] Power to four-hundred percent capacity.Tony Stark: How about that?
12. Bruce Banner: Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of broke... Harlem.
13. Thor: You have no idea what you're dealing with.Tony Stark: Shakespeare in The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?
14. Agent Phil Coulson: You're at 114 Solenski Plaza, 3rd floor. We have an F22 exactly 8 miles out. Put the woman on the phone or I will blow up the block before you can make the lobby.
15. Tony Stark: What's the stat, Rogers?Steve Rogers: [looks at the Helicarrier tech] It seems to be powered by some sort of electricity!
Tony Stark: ...well, you're not wrong.
16. Thor: You people are so pathetic and untrustworthy!Nick Fury: Hey, did WE come to YOUR world and blow stuff up?
17. The Other: Humans... they are not the cowering wretches we were promised! They are unruly, and so cannot be ruled! To challenge them, is to court death.
18. Tony Stark: You know, I've got a cluster of shrapnel, trying every second to crawl its way into my heart.[Stark points at the mini-arc reactor in his chest]
19. Tony Stark: [to Thor] No hard feelings Point Break, you've got a mean swing.
20. Tony Stark: Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.
21. Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?Tony Stark: Funny things are.
22. Nick Fury: I still believe in heroes.
23. Bruce Banner: We're not a team. We're a time-bomb!
24. Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack!Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack!
25. Steve Rogers: Doctor Banner, now might be a perfect time for you to get angry.Bruce Banner: Oh, well, that's my secret, Captain. I'm always angry.
Nice day off. Stuffed invitations, got measured for the dress, went to Weight Watchers, and then dinner, yogurt and a movie. Good times.