Hi again. Sometimes I get five minutes to do something on my own while Ellis is sleeping. Many times that means showering, or folding laundry. I already got my five minute shower in this morning and the laundry can wait right now. He is asleep thanks to another food coma. During the day, he often only goes down for about ten to fifteen minutes. Luckily, he usually goes down for a few hours during the night. I will be knocking on wood after mentioning that fact, because Honey Badger(another one of Ellis' nicknames) often does what he wants and changes things as soon as I get used to them.
So, here I am with Sportscenter in the background and typing a post. We watch a lot of Sportscenter around here. It is good background while I am feeding the wee one. Sometimes it is Call the Midwife, or some other show on Netflix(it was Mr. Bean last week!). I like this whole be at home and take care of the kiddo for my current job. I actually would be pretty content doing this full time. Unfortunately, our circumstances as a family call for me to go out and earn our benefits. We could probably live on just one income but we must have insurance. So, in two weeks, I will ball my eyes out and head back to work. Luckily, Reuben has a job that will let him work different hours, so Ellis will not have to go to daycare, but will be able to be with his daddy. Not that I judge anybody for their choice in childcare, we all have different situations and we all have to choose what is right for US!!!
So, motherhood. It is quite amazing. Here are a few things that I have learned about it since I have become one a short four weeks ago:
1. Being a mother is SACRED. It is a responsibility that makes you worry 24-7 that you are doing the right thing and that your kid(s) are okay. God has entrusted me with Ellis. I am to figure out what he needs and what will be best for him on every avenue of his life. That is a huge responsibility and when I think about it, an awesome thing.
2. Motherhood is tiring. Luckily, I think I am hard wired(women are) to be up every few hours and only get sleep between feedings. At least babies do grow up and start sleeping through the night, but for now I will be tired. I am sure, even when Ellis sleeps through the night, I will still be tired out because kids suck the energy out of the adults around them.
3. As a mother, you instantly love that little person. I can't explain it, but I just loved him the first time I looked at him and those feelings have only grown as I've gotten to know him a bit better. What a cool thing and it breaks my heart to think about the children of the world who did not receive this gift from their mom. Even though he makes me tired and is sometimes screaming, I still love that little kiddo.
4. There are a million voices out there telling you how to do things. Funny thing about that is that you have to find out what is right for YOU and your KID. What works for Sally's kids, may not work for my kid. I bet things that work with Ellis may not even work on our future babies. Each of us is different and have different needs. Ignoring those voices is hard because you second guess yourself all the time.
5. Being a mom is going to be the most important thing I ever do. I get to help Ellis on his journey here on earth. I get to teach him how to treat people with respect, how to deal with disappointment, how to keep positive, and how to judge what is right and wrong in a confusing world. Sure other stuff is important, but not as important as this. I think at work I will be much more organized this year because I will want to get to Ellis as soon as I can after my contract time is done at 3:20. I will have to grade and plan quickly after school and during my prep hour.
There is lots more to say, but my mind is pretty scorched. I am going to go and read a few pages in my book before Ellis awakes. I hope you all have a fantastic day and that these pics will brighten your day like experiencing the moments with Ellis have done for me! Cheers!
Church clothes. Ellis and I went to Sacrament Meeting for the first time Sunday.