This time of year is extra hard. Part of this has to do with the indecisive weather, part has to do with needing a break from work. The children in my school are cray-cray and the adults are just as stir crazy. This is where baseball comes in. Baseball makes me happy and has made life more bearable. For my birthday, I bought myself access to Major League Baseball streaming of the audio coverage of each of the games for a whopping twenty bucks. This has been the best twenty bucks I have spent on myself in a long time. Not only can I listen to my Dodgers, but I also get to watch one game a day for free. Right no,w the Reds are playing the Cardinals in the background on my phone. Heavenly.
Lately, I have been doing a whole lot of soul searching too. Recently, a co-worker's son passed away and I was able to attend the funeral, even though I didn't know him well. This funeral, like many I have been to in the past, reminded me of how fragile life really is and how I need to be LIVING more. This young man inspired me to remember to do the things I love more because he lived passionately. Sometimes that means I have to make the time for the things I love. One change I have done with that is to get my guitar out and in plain sight again. I even have learned "Amazing Grace" which was sung beautifully at his funeral. I also have remembered to ride my bike more and have plans to get it road ready to start riding to work after Spring Break(it will be warmer, I hope!). He was an avid bike rider and I need to get out and feel the wind in my face more. We bought a trailer to lug the kiddo around in and Ellis loves it so we will be doing lots more riding in the Ficklin family.
I also was reminded how I need to be nicer and love people more. Life is too short to hold grudges, be surrounded by negativity, judge people, and just be unhappy. I am learning to let go of the unimportant things and to cling onto the things that do mean most.
Reuben and this little critter means most these days. And the people in my sphere need me to be a champion for them. I am trying to be more positive and love those around me more because I am doing no one a favor by pretending to be small and insignificant. I am important and I have talents to help people enjoy their journey here more.
So...I have thought a bit about what I would want people to say at my funeral. The young man's brother said in a tribute: "If you take anything for what I say, know that he was a good guy!" I want people to say that about me. Well, at least that I was a good lady, that I would do anything for others, that I was always smiling and helped make people smile too. That is what I want to be remembered for. I want to someday be celebrated and mourned because it will be a while until those people who loved me can feel that from me again. I want to be known as a kind soul who loved life. (Ellis is also a great example of this to me. How fun that a little 7 month old can teach us things about life. He's a happy little dude!)
Most importantly, I was reminded that this life isn't it. We are connected and will be in each others' sphere on the other side. This is all possible because our Creator is eternal so it is only realistic to think that we are eternal as well. We will get to live on and how peaceful to know that it won't be as hard there for us as living in this mortal life can be at times. And how nice it is to also realize that we can make our limited time here joyful, full and rewarding. We get to choose to enjoy life!
Cheers to all.