A Long Overdue Letter to Ellis.

Dear Ellis-
Hey!  I have not written you a letter in a long time and I have been thinking about writing lots. Maybe it has been less because mommy is burnt out on letter writing. Maybe it is because mommy is tired all the time and very pregnant. Whatever the reason, do know that I am still loving being your mom. Sure, you are now two and have lots of opinions and get frustrated and tantrum at times, but no matter what, no matter how tired and worn out I am, deep down I still love you so much. I cannot even describe how much I really love you because it just isn't something that is measurable. 
You will soon be a big brother. That sometimes seems weird and really makes me excited to see how you will react to our family growing. I worry that you will have a hard time and feel a bit jealous. Once when I was holding a friend's baby, you dropped all the fun you were having playing with the big brother of said baby and wanted me to hold you. That was interesting. Maybe it will be different when it is our baby. You always talk about her and you love to go through all the new clothes she has gotten from people. You even showed Papa every single thing and were so proud. I just know you are going to be a great big brother because you love all kids and want to be friends with every kid at the park. You always say "hello" and try to convince them to play with you. It really irritates mommy that kids often try to ignore you and have even been rude to you. What happened to all kids liking all other kids? I am already worrying about you going to school and how kids will treat you and that is a couple years away still!

You are so wonderful and fun. I am thankful every day that I get to play with you. Today we built some Play Doh airplanes like we often do and I had a blast watching you play. You are starting to build quite an imagination and are playing like you never have before. It's fun to watch you grow and change.  I also love to hear you say that the airplanes are going to Wisconsin to see Andi and Grandma. You sure do love them so much. We have been skype visiting with them more lately and that is so fun. We even spent Mother's Day with Andi out on her patio while she and Jeff enjoyed a spring night's fire. Special memories. 
You love puddles and bubbles. Many spring adventures lately have been to "your puddle" which is on the basketball court of our condos. The other day you even had to be barefoot to fully enjoy that puddle and to climb the big slide. How your feet aren't bothered by wood chips, I will never know.  Silly boy!
You also are still a lover of slides and parks. Just last night you made your very pregnant mommy walk and walk and walk all around one of your favorite parks. There were rocks to throw, ramps to climb, doors of school classrooms to be knocked on(you trick or treat at most doors these days), hills to climb and slides to go down. It is often hard to get you to leave but I was thankful last night that the bribery of chocolate balls(Sixlets) got you calmly in the car and buckled in your car seat. I also have a new trick where I set the time on my phone. You know when the ducks quack that it is time to go. You even say: "Ducks quack, time go!"  I also love hearing you say: "see you soon," "thank you so much," "yea, you did it," "come see you(to be held," and all the fun things you come up with. 
Lately, you sometimes get pretty mad in these situations or other times where you don't get exactly what you thought you would get! Daddy and I are learning how to best help you manage the anger that you seem to have inherited from mommy. You spend lots of time on time out in your crib but you do always eventually calm down and still need mommy to rock and cuddle you. Sometimes you get a spank in the bum and you will laugh, so I'm not sure that parenting method is going to ever work. 

Getting to know you better and finding new ways to help you is one of the toughest yet most rewarding things about this whole mommy gig. You are such a cool little guy and I love everyday I get to spend with you. No matter how tough it can be, I always at the end of the day am so grateful that I get to be your mom and tackle this whole life thing together. You're my little buddy and I love seeing you grow and learn. And how could I ever be sad to see this at the end of the day?
I love you sweet Ellis. Always remember that, no matter what.